Boot Camp, round 2
What kind of sadistic twit schedules boot camp at 5:30 in the morning during the summer? I mean seriously. I finally have two kids that are fairly self-sufficient and don’t require constant, vigilant, direct attention. I’m in this special, wonderful time of life when I don’t have to work and my kids can fend for themselves. So, what gives?
I guess in their infinite wisdom, they decided that boot camp at 6 o’clock in the evening during the summer was going to be too hot. Or maybe this is just another form of torture. Because I’m getting too old to stay up til 11 or midnight having a good time with my peeps and then get up at 4:45. So, something is gonna have to give after a few days of this boot camp. And, I’ll give you wild guess which one is gonna get the boot.
When the girls picked up my pieces and put me back together after the last boot camp, they must have missed some because I had actually lost inches and some weight. Sweet. And, I wasn’t even trying. Imagine what would have happened if I had dieted (so not a chance), ran (yeah, right), and tried harder (hey, I did try). So, here we go for another round of torture courtesy of Drill Sergeant.
Blondie, Brownie and I recruited a fourth for this round of boot camp, which only starts at some ungodly hour of the middle of the night. We’ll call her Sucker.
So, while the stars were still out and every sane person still asleep, Blondie picked up the three of us to make sure we all actually go. Without Blondie’s taxi service, I’m pretty sure I would have said some off color word when my alarm went off at 4:45 this morning, shut it off and gone back to sleep. Instead, when my alarm went off this morning, I said some off color word, laid there for a moment considering how crappy my friends are for making me get up at this horrific hour, and crawled out of bed to get ready.
Because in my stupid little brain, I didn’t want to let them down when they got to my house and still be asleep in bed. Most likely, given Blondie's history, she would’ve laid on the horn at 5:15 until she had woken up everyone in the neighborhood. Let me just start by telling you that we do not live in a neighborhood where you honk your horn at any hour, much less in the middle of the night. That would make one ugly mess. I can just imagine, the police would’ve received several calls and since they have absolutely nothing to do in our safe town, about 10 cars would’ve shown up all bearing the individual police officer's name, I would’ve received at least a ticket or two, then the HOA would’ve been notified and I’m sure I would’ve gotten some sort of fine on top of that. But, that wouldn’t be the good part. Blondie has a mouth on her. She would’ve said something uppity to those police officers, probably about where they could put their sticks and gotten hauled off to jail. Then the HOA would issue her a fine and then our hubbies wouldn’t allow us to play together any more.
Hey, that would get me out of boot camp. Maybe I’ll try it and see how it all goes down. After all, I know a good attorney who can get Blondie out of jail.
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