Boot Camp: round 2, week 2
Drill Sergeant surprised us when we got there this morning (just a tad late). It was Brownie’s turn to drive and she was late picking everyone up, then we had to park a mile away because Blondie had run over everyone’s mats last week in her “I don’t know what a break is” style of driving.
So, after we all drop off our stuff and join everyone else on the run, he started filling us in on what all we were going to do today and then let us know that he brought donuts and milk. I was all, “Sweet, thanks. That was really nice of you to bring us breakfast.” Yeah, not so fast.
Um, let me just tell you that the donuts that you and I are thinking about right now are not the same kind of donuts that Mr. Drill Sergeant is thinking about. Oh no, not those yummy Round Rock donuts covered in that rich secret ingredient, or those deliciously filled with whatever-your-heart-desires Shipley donuts. No, no, the donuts he was talking about are black and rubber, one might call them tires. We had to flip them over all the way down the field. And that milk in the cooler. Well, that was just 10 lb dumbbells that we had to get out to do walking lunges and bicep curls while changing hands under our legs as we went. Brownie quipped, “Well, I’m lactose intolerant.” Yeah, me too, and when good ole Drill Sergeant wasn’t looking, I was rolling my donut.
That, plus some weird contorted ab killing work and more running (done several times over and over) pretty much constituted our workout for the morning, which totally beat our last workout with some sort of overturned soccer goal that we had to push down the field.
Oh my goodness, that thing was hard work. Ours kept getting stuck in these divots in the grass. We all had to break into groups of 4. Hey, look, we’re already a group of 4! Two of us get on the tall side of this soccer goal (I think Drill Sergeant is just trying to come up with new ways to torture us) so we can push, and two get on the short side so they can pull. Well, I soon found out that if you’re pulling, and the thing gets stuck, your toes end up getting run over. That doesn’t do anything for my pedicure. In fact, I think Drill Sergeant owes me a pedicure for messing up my last one. Anyway, the first time we do this, plus some push-ups while balancing on a soccer ball (the man has a thing for soccer) and running in place parallel to the ground while balanced on a soccer ball (again with the soccer – the man has balls on the brain), etc. we come in dead last. Of course, we are the only all-girl team. But, who’s your momma? We’re apparently the only ones with stamina, because we ended up kicking everyone’s butt and winning in the end. So there.
So, Brownie is hooked up on when local eateries have free stuff. This morning, Whataburger was offering a free breakfast sandwich. What a great way for us fabulous moms to finish off our morning workout. Brownie was trying to be nice and told Drill Sergeant about this and he said that he can’t have that – whatever, dude! So, we pile in the car and head to Whataburger. We’re there at 6:45 a.m. Well, guess what, the free stuff didn’t start until 7. Whataburger wanted us to wait another 15 minutes. That was so not happening. Drill Sergeant foiled us again. Something tells me he has an in with these places and has already bribed them not to sell to those Round Rock housewives. That’s Drill Sergeant’s new name for us, like when he’s yelling at us, “Don’t let those young ones beat you.” Seriously? I think he just called us old. Then to the “young ones” he says, “Those Round Rock housewives are gaining on you fast, you better get on the hop!” Well, hop on this Mr. Drill Sergeant man.
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