Parenting in a 24-hour World

During my book club meeting the other night, we discussed parenting. A topic rich in opinions. The prevailing thought was “why don’t kids come with a user guide?” Sure, there are tons of parenting books, websites and blogs where you can find varying opinions about how to be a good parent. And, it’s probably ten times easier to get your hands on that advice than it was when we were kids. 

To add to the discussion that we started the other night, I wanted to share a couple of things I read recently which rang true for me. In an interview with Esquire, Ethan Hawke talks about his new film Boyhood, which was filmed over the course of 12 years with the same core of actors and directed by Richard Linklater. It’s about parenting and growing up. Hawke says, “we would sit there and ask, ‘Oh what  are some of the most important experiences you had with your father growing up?’ Because what we’re trying to avoid was things like losing your virginity, the day your dad got remarried...because those alleged important days are usually pretty obvious. And you don’t have many interesting things to say about them. What I remember about growing up with my dad was camping. And him sitting by the fire playing guitar. And us making hot dogs. That is where the real glue of our relationship is: those weird moments when my dad wasn’t at work, when he was free to be himself.”

Of course we remember the big events, but it’s those little snippets that we remember. I remember playing Monopoly, going to the movies, to the park, to Mayfest and other places of interest around my hometown. Those moments are what stay with me because I had my dad’s attention. We were focused on each other.

To contrast that, I recently read Sycamore Row by John Grisham. He writes, “a child is not born with the tendency to neglect; it has to be acquired. Herschel learned from a master.”

In our time of smartphones and 24-hour connections, I like to take time to put away that little screen which can consume our lives with email, news and social media and focus on those in my life who matter most today and tomorrow–those little people who still think we are giants. Those little people who will grow up and become giants. 

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